I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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