Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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