i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
