Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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