You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
