Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
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I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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