Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
