Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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