I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
