he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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