im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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