I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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