i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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