I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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