That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
