dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
