If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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