we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
