3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
