I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
