actually, I'm a sock model
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
