smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
