i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
