Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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