i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
