new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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