so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we're making bets on your personal life
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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