Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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