She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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