My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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