u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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