You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
