just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My ATM looks so different sober.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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