from now on my penis is your penis
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
