I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
