: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize