whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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