i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
