My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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