come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She's the barista slut.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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