It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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