Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
