Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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