I hate your face
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Are we still banned from the library?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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