I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
