she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
