Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
