Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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