Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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