hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
