1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
